Garbage for 10th July
Garden City Garbage from Dog’s quizzzz run.
This weeks garbage is being drafted from the weat soaked comfort of my bedroom, where I am currently in the throws of what can only be described as a cross between Dengae fever and the Black Plauge. I have sneezed so much in the past three days, I could build a mucus mountain and make some lovely patterns in it with a fork.
( nod to Speilberg here and Richard Dreyfus for the mashed potato masterpiece from Close Encounters ) ...but I digress
I ask you all to bear with me for a bit, since I am sick and do not wish to
inflict this misery on anyone, even library people, I am having to do this on my
cellphone.Every so often. I may have to excuse myself to pee, blow my nose or generally throw up, we'll just wait and see how it goes.
And with that this is how it all began .......
It was a Tuesday, like any typical Tuesday, the night that Garden City Hashers yearn for,
when they can strip out of their three piece suits, tear off those aprons, throw
down their shovels put the kids in their straight jackets and toss them into the
basement with the inlaws and that annoying little girl from up the street who is
always knocking at the door trying to sell you shit.
Yes, on a Tuesday, all is right with the world, that is of course until we all met up at Dogs
Bollocks. Unbeknownst to any of us, even though he claims to be an amazing
trail setter, it seems. MRS BOLLOCKS affectionately called DoesNothing,
apparently does indeed do something, because it was her not her lazy ass good
for nothing except paying the bills and curry making husband, who actually laid
trail. Thank gawd too or else it would have been nothing but a Q and A
session ending in "how f**Ken thick am I " being the answer of they
evening.
Seriously dude .....one American question out of 30? Thanks for
making sure we all felt equally stupid as the night wore on.
( I still say Alexander Graham Bell was a better answer than Thomas Edison, even if it were
wrong.)
Anyways, after what seemed like ten forevers, Dogs finally gave us some half
assed directions and sent us out and we immediately f**led up by allowing Orful
Fu*k to be the master trail blazer, what more of a cock up would one need than
that.
......oh shit, I'm burning my dinner
BRB ........
( Having the flu sux because you can't smell a Fu**en thing,burned sausage rolls anyone.??? )
As we followed Orful like a pack of stupid lemmings, there was a sudden
revelation by Ezee Ryder (being me), that Firkin was actually going to
participate in the run, however, Ezee ( being me) was incorrect as Firkin barely
made it around the corner out of the sight of Dogs place,stopped to tie his
laces, and was never heard from again.
Well, not REALLY never, he was alive and well at runs end.
On on was called over and over again in a German accent, with the occasional svine hundt thrown in and sometimes an actelibea (WTF) as well, proving once and for all, GERMANS HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR,but also seem to have no sense of direction.
After we all bitched and groaned about how dumb we all were, we soon came upon a check followed by a check that was followed by another check, a back check and so on and so on.
At one point, The Missing Linc swore he knew the way, he was positive about it ....."follow me "... he yells, and is promptly followed by some Hashers.
A few minutes later, the trio returns from their excursion cursing Linc and making some sort of comments about a possible kidnapping that may or may not take place at a later
date.
...damn it, my coffee got cold ...BRB .... ................
As the trail of hell wound into a rough guess of approximately 45 minutes, Dog's
miraculously appeared and bellowed "ON PISS " to which we all came to, crossed
some little bridge over croc infested waters ( danger danger danger) and tripped
on over to the house of Bollocks for dinner and a show.
We were all able to partake of some lovely soup that kicked like a mule whilst the devilish Dogs readied the quiz teams from slips of paper we had all filled in upon
arrival.
The teams were as follows .....
Team one, Daggy, Missing Linc, Oxfam, Bag Shag, Lab Rat and DoesNothing.
Team two, Milf, Fridgid,Wank Plank, Firkin and Orful.
Team three Fingers, SsangYong, Linda, One Loos and Ezee Ryder (being me)
Team four, Vassie, GloWorm, Klingon, Roz (am I the only one who noticed the word ROXY that was branded on her ass??? ), Premature and Navi.
Needless to say, team one was not only stacked by the judge but on more
than one question, a cellphone was seen using Google!!
They of course won, and the top prize of the half eaten Easter egg was awarded to team leader Daggy
.....lucky bastard.
And before I forget, Firkin hun, we really don't give a
flying f**k about Mariah Fu**en Carrey ...enough already.
And now for some fines,which seemed to go on and on and on and
.........
Dogs .....the host not the hare
DoesNothing .....the true hare
Linc .....for being a what?
Daggy .....for being gone
Fingers .....see above
OneLoos ......for being unable to attend the Yorkshire run but still getting a shirt for it
Vassie .....gawd knows why, but all I can say is poor Firkins hat
X Box .....dunno, but Vassie down downed it
Firkin ......for not singing
Glowworm .....I think it was for being GM
( sorry, the graduation episode of GLEE is on, had to stop and have a snivel)
Fingers .....for hiding from us while Daggy was outta town
Foreskin ......not a clue, wasn't listening
Linda .....for losing his banana
Premature .....for crossing the street ......(huh???)
Roz .....virgin
Firkin .....gawd knows why
Brick Sheithouse .....for showing up at runs end
Ezee .....Aw f**k, I forgot why
Navi .....RA
Dogs Bollocks .....again, forgot
That's it from the cheap seats, except to say the run that night was
dedicated to hasher, DORIS who always wanted to be CALLED
TIGER TIM .....on on mate!!!!!
BTW ......Linc needs some Hares, so get off your asses, step up and host a
f**Ken run
S M D
See The Misssing Linc to set a run!!!
Attached photo of Tongue Lasher at Milton Kenya pouring a pint of real
ale……..
This weeks garbage is being drafted from the weat soaked comfort of my bedroom, where I am currently in the throws of what can only be described as a cross between Dengae fever and the Black Plauge. I have sneezed so much in the past three days, I could build a mucus mountain and make some lovely patterns in it with a fork.
( nod to Speilberg here and Richard Dreyfus for the mashed potato masterpiece from Close Encounters ) ...but I digress
I ask you all to bear with me for a bit, since I am sick and do not wish to
inflict this misery on anyone, even library people, I am having to do this on my
cellphone.Every so often. I may have to excuse myself to pee, blow my nose or generally throw up, we'll just wait and see how it goes.
And with that this is how it all began .......
It was a Tuesday, like any typical Tuesday, the night that Garden City Hashers yearn for,
when they can strip out of their three piece suits, tear off those aprons, throw
down their shovels put the kids in their straight jackets and toss them into the
basement with the inlaws and that annoying little girl from up the street who is
always knocking at the door trying to sell you shit.
Yes, on a Tuesday, all is right with the world, that is of course until we all met up at Dogs
Bollocks. Unbeknownst to any of us, even though he claims to be an amazing
trail setter, it seems. MRS BOLLOCKS affectionately called DoesNothing,
apparently does indeed do something, because it was her not her lazy ass good
for nothing except paying the bills and curry making husband, who actually laid
trail. Thank gawd too or else it would have been nothing but a Q and A
session ending in "how f**Ken thick am I " being the answer of they
evening.
Seriously dude .....one American question out of 30? Thanks for
making sure we all felt equally stupid as the night wore on.
( I still say Alexander Graham Bell was a better answer than Thomas Edison, even if it were
wrong.)
Anyways, after what seemed like ten forevers, Dogs finally gave us some half
assed directions and sent us out and we immediately f**led up by allowing Orful
Fu*k to be the master trail blazer, what more of a cock up would one need than
that.
......oh shit, I'm burning my dinner
BRB ........
( Having the flu sux because you can't smell a Fu**en thing,burned sausage rolls anyone.??? )
As we followed Orful like a pack of stupid lemmings, there was a sudden
revelation by Ezee Ryder (being me), that Firkin was actually going to
participate in the run, however, Ezee ( being me) was incorrect as Firkin barely
made it around the corner out of the sight of Dogs place,stopped to tie his
laces, and was never heard from again.
Well, not REALLY never, he was alive and well at runs end.
On on was called over and over again in a German accent, with the occasional svine hundt thrown in and sometimes an actelibea (WTF) as well, proving once and for all, GERMANS HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR,but also seem to have no sense of direction.
After we all bitched and groaned about how dumb we all were, we soon came upon a check followed by a check that was followed by another check, a back check and so on and so on.
At one point, The Missing Linc swore he knew the way, he was positive about it ....."follow me "... he yells, and is promptly followed by some Hashers.
A few minutes later, the trio returns from their excursion cursing Linc and making some sort of comments about a possible kidnapping that may or may not take place at a later
date.
...damn it, my coffee got cold ...BRB .... ................
As the trail of hell wound into a rough guess of approximately 45 minutes, Dog's
miraculously appeared and bellowed "ON PISS " to which we all came to, crossed
some little bridge over croc infested waters ( danger danger danger) and tripped
on over to the house of Bollocks for dinner and a show.
We were all able to partake of some lovely soup that kicked like a mule whilst the devilish Dogs readied the quiz teams from slips of paper we had all filled in upon
arrival.
The teams were as follows .....
Team one, Daggy, Missing Linc, Oxfam, Bag Shag, Lab Rat and DoesNothing.
Team two, Milf, Fridgid,Wank Plank, Firkin and Orful.
Team three Fingers, SsangYong, Linda, One Loos and Ezee Ryder (being me)
Team four, Vassie, GloWorm, Klingon, Roz (am I the only one who noticed the word ROXY that was branded on her ass??? ), Premature and Navi.
Needless to say, team one was not only stacked by the judge but on more
than one question, a cellphone was seen using Google!!
They of course won, and the top prize of the half eaten Easter egg was awarded to team leader Daggy
.....lucky bastard.
And before I forget, Firkin hun, we really don't give a
flying f**k about Mariah Fu**en Carrey ...enough already.
And now for some fines,which seemed to go on and on and on and
.........
Dogs .....the host not the hare
DoesNothing .....the true hare
Linc .....for being a what?
Daggy .....for being gone
Fingers .....see above
OneLoos ......for being unable to attend the Yorkshire run but still getting a shirt for it
Vassie .....gawd knows why, but all I can say is poor Firkins hat
X Box .....dunno, but Vassie down downed it
Firkin ......for not singing
Glowworm .....I think it was for being GM
( sorry, the graduation episode of GLEE is on, had to stop and have a snivel)
Fingers .....for hiding from us while Daggy was outta town
Foreskin ......not a clue, wasn't listening
Linda .....for losing his banana
Premature .....for crossing the street ......(huh???)
Roz .....virgin
Firkin .....gawd knows why
Brick Sheithouse .....for showing up at runs end
Ezee .....Aw f**k, I forgot why
Navi .....RA
Dogs Bollocks .....again, forgot
That's it from the cheap seats, except to say the run that night was
dedicated to hasher, DORIS who always wanted to be CALLED
TIGER TIM .....on on mate!!!!!
BTW ......Linc needs some Hares, so get off your asses, step up and host a
f**Ken run
S M D
See The Misssing Linc to set a run!!!
Attached photo of Tongue Lasher at Milton Kenya pouring a pint of real
ale……..