Garbage for 17th July
FIRKINS FANTABULOUSLY FUCKED up FISH & FRENCH FRY FROLLIC through FOGGY FIELDS of FANTASTICAL FANCY ............
I could have called it Firkins run, but how much more boring could that be
.....wait .....I'm thinking .....
It was a dark and stormy night .....no ......umm .....ahhhhh. .....It was a
night like no other .....nope, been done .....Space, the final frontier
......................oh f**k it,
it was Tuesday y'all, same as every other damn Tuesday.
We all headed to GASP .....he has a house? There's no pub? OMFG
Lemme start over, we all headed .....to Firkins ......holy f**Ken shit, I almost
choked on the words. All of us were rearing to go, some more than others,
because no sooner had we been given our f**ked up directions by the laziest
hasher known to man, than Brick Sheithouse bolted out the door, shagged a left
and was OnOn within seconds. He also assisted his fellow hashiens by marking
trail with his urine spray on various item's, including a lamp post, sapling and
coping a squat next to a hedge. He was even seen rolling in his own poo at one
stage and when ordered by his handler to cease and desist, he was a good boy
.....yes what a good boy you are Bricky .....and ran off and humped a tree stump.
I also need to mention at this point, that it is actually the first time I have seen Brick run, and can honestly say I hope to never see it again because it scared the f**ken shit outta me!!
It was a nice change though to see so many runners, most of the time we have 3 or 4,so it truly was nice to see so many,......well, the backs of them anyways, and they all led the way to the first piss stop which was right back where we f**ken started from. ( hang on a sec, I need a snack.) Speaking of which, Firkin you cheap bastard, ya didn't have so much as a tater chip .....( Non on my run either..Dagy)
Everybody pissed up and we were once again on and away (sounds like a shitty Cruise and Kidman movie huh)
The shitty directions we were given for the second leg of the journey went something like
this ....."you'll go out that way and there'll be some water and some power
lines and a road and some trees and a blade of grass that looks like Mother
Theresa, so keep your eyes open for it, and footprints and a golden compass and
a magical forest of unicorns and the baby jezuz with chocolate dippped butter on
a stick" ..............yeah, I wasn't listening to his directions either!!!
Anyway, Ezee Ryder (being me) decided to buddy up with some of the boys to
see what they were discussing and would it be worth writing about in the garbage
.....needless to say it was not, then again the chosen few was made up of
Fridgid, Klingon and the Missing Linc so nuff said.
(Ok, need to takes me a shower so will come back to this in a few .....please feel free to play your own musical interlude here for at least 20 minutes) ..........(19 minutes
later).....and we're back.
Whilst walking with afore mentioned boys, some how the topic of a four some came about .....lordy, lordy, lordy .....where at one point, Ezee Ryder (being me) made the comment to poor Linc about him not knowing what to do with her, and then remarking how Fridgid wouldn't know what to do with any woman, then finally pouncing on Klingon with sisterly affection and made some sort of lewd comment about incest.
It was at this point where for some strange reason, that Linc veered off to the right claiming he had to take a leak and was never heard from again.
Turns out while going for a pee he stumbled across the OnHome trail, and in true short cutting bastard style, f**ked off in that general direction. Here I was thinking I had scared him off with my sexual prowess or maybe he didn't want Fridgid to see his junk.
Oh well .....he's all yours Oxy hun.
Now, it was during this time when Linc went .....well .....missing, that Ezee
(being me) was a bit worried about his welfare so lagged behind a bit and got to
visit a little with Glowworm and Gremmie who was madly scribbling away in his
notebook what one can only assume were notes for fines. I must interject at this
point that it was NOT Gremmie doing the writing.
The two of them promptly jogged away and were soon met with a very mucky water crossing, albeit very small stream that Navi proclaimed cross at your own risk and peril.
Needless to say, Ezee (being me) got a nice wet and muddy foot for not being quite
able to jump it like a fella, and spent the next 10 minutes fussin' due to the fact she had just a few days earlier washed the winter camp stench outta the same exact shoes.
She promptly chewed Firkin a new one upon arrival at piss stop two.
By the time the second piss stop was reached .....yeah okay, I was almost
last to get there, what's yer point .....everyone had finally noticed Linc was
missing but had been replaced by Lab Rat so we accepted it at face value. (Lab
Rat hun, I promise I won't tell anyone you finished the run in heels)
I don't think Dagy would have noticed much of anything though as he was deep in
discussion with One Loos about some hash biz, but did come up for air long
enough to let one and all know that Fingers was damn glad he was home cause he'd
thrown it to her real hard to show how much he'd missed her. It was here
where the mental image began to scorch the backs of my eyes and I threw up in my
mouth a little .....change subject now!!!!!
As we were all about to f**k off home, Fridgid came wandering out from the tree line with a DB flag, and legend has it that said pole was imbedded in a giant stone to wence only the weiniest of weiners could withdraw it, and thus proclaiming him to be king of all
weiners.
During the piss up and visitation segment, someone took it upon themselves to
steal SsangYongs keys, seems ya don't leave yer keys out for all the world to
see and steal.... mental note on that tucked away for future use. So nods to
SsangYong for being the all around putz of the night. (Well the German was
MIA so someone has to be the fall guy)
We finally managed to all get on home and were quickly ushered out of the
sight of the neighbors and crammed into the garage, where we were met with the
wonderful aroma of fish and chips. Thus once hash hush had been called, began
the fines ...........
Firkin ..........hare (No…he did not get fined for being the hare as it
is not GCH3 tradition…..Dagy)
Lab Rat ........talking
Navi ............see above
Sif .................belching
007 ..............for taking 20 minutes to change clothes
One Loos .....for using Firkins dog as a foot stool
Glowworm ...for losing $5
Brick ............for finding $5(no down down because of idiot above)
Ezee ...........bitched about a wet foot
SsangYong ..that key thing (and the phone thing….Dagy)
Fridgid ........for his pole (ick)
Supreme .....use of a GPS
Lusty ............?????
That's it from the cheap seats, Dagy will fill in any gaps, and hare's
desperately needed so get with Linc.
On a personal note, thoughts go out to the families suffering over in
Colorado after the senseless shootings ...........I hope the f**ker responsible
rots.
On&On..................and S*M*D
I could have called it Firkins run, but how much more boring could that be
.....wait .....I'm thinking .....
It was a dark and stormy night .....no ......umm .....ahhhhh. .....It was a
night like no other .....nope, been done .....Space, the final frontier
......................oh f**k it,
it was Tuesday y'all, same as every other damn Tuesday.
We all headed to GASP .....he has a house? There's no pub? OMFG
Lemme start over, we all headed .....to Firkins ......holy f**Ken shit, I almost
choked on the words. All of us were rearing to go, some more than others,
because no sooner had we been given our f**ked up directions by the laziest
hasher known to man, than Brick Sheithouse bolted out the door, shagged a left
and was OnOn within seconds. He also assisted his fellow hashiens by marking
trail with his urine spray on various item's, including a lamp post, sapling and
coping a squat next to a hedge. He was even seen rolling in his own poo at one
stage and when ordered by his handler to cease and desist, he was a good boy
.....yes what a good boy you are Bricky .....and ran off and humped a tree stump.
I also need to mention at this point, that it is actually the first time I have seen Brick run, and can honestly say I hope to never see it again because it scared the f**ken shit outta me!!
It was a nice change though to see so many runners, most of the time we have 3 or 4,so it truly was nice to see so many,......well, the backs of them anyways, and they all led the way to the first piss stop which was right back where we f**ken started from. ( hang on a sec, I need a snack.) Speaking of which, Firkin you cheap bastard, ya didn't have so much as a tater chip .....( Non on my run either..Dagy)
Everybody pissed up and we were once again on and away (sounds like a shitty Cruise and Kidman movie huh)
The shitty directions we were given for the second leg of the journey went something like
this ....."you'll go out that way and there'll be some water and some power
lines and a road and some trees and a blade of grass that looks like Mother
Theresa, so keep your eyes open for it, and footprints and a golden compass and
a magical forest of unicorns and the baby jezuz with chocolate dippped butter on
a stick" ..............yeah, I wasn't listening to his directions either!!!
Anyway, Ezee Ryder (being me) decided to buddy up with some of the boys to
see what they were discussing and would it be worth writing about in the garbage
.....needless to say it was not, then again the chosen few was made up of
Fridgid, Klingon and the Missing Linc so nuff said.
(Ok, need to takes me a shower so will come back to this in a few .....please feel free to play your own musical interlude here for at least 20 minutes) ..........(19 minutes
later).....and we're back.
Whilst walking with afore mentioned boys, some how the topic of a four some came about .....lordy, lordy, lordy .....where at one point, Ezee Ryder (being me) made the comment to poor Linc about him not knowing what to do with her, and then remarking how Fridgid wouldn't know what to do with any woman, then finally pouncing on Klingon with sisterly affection and made some sort of lewd comment about incest.
It was at this point where for some strange reason, that Linc veered off to the right claiming he had to take a leak and was never heard from again.
Turns out while going for a pee he stumbled across the OnHome trail, and in true short cutting bastard style, f**ked off in that general direction. Here I was thinking I had scared him off with my sexual prowess or maybe he didn't want Fridgid to see his junk.
Oh well .....he's all yours Oxy hun.
Now, it was during this time when Linc went .....well .....missing, that Ezee
(being me) was a bit worried about his welfare so lagged behind a bit and got to
visit a little with Glowworm and Gremmie who was madly scribbling away in his
notebook what one can only assume were notes for fines. I must interject at this
point that it was NOT Gremmie doing the writing.
The two of them promptly jogged away and were soon met with a very mucky water crossing, albeit very small stream that Navi proclaimed cross at your own risk and peril.
Needless to say, Ezee (being me) got a nice wet and muddy foot for not being quite
able to jump it like a fella, and spent the next 10 minutes fussin' due to the fact she had just a few days earlier washed the winter camp stench outta the same exact shoes.
She promptly chewed Firkin a new one upon arrival at piss stop two.
By the time the second piss stop was reached .....yeah okay, I was almost
last to get there, what's yer point .....everyone had finally noticed Linc was
missing but had been replaced by Lab Rat so we accepted it at face value. (Lab
Rat hun, I promise I won't tell anyone you finished the run in heels)
I don't think Dagy would have noticed much of anything though as he was deep in
discussion with One Loos about some hash biz, but did come up for air long
enough to let one and all know that Fingers was damn glad he was home cause he'd
thrown it to her real hard to show how much he'd missed her. It was here
where the mental image began to scorch the backs of my eyes and I threw up in my
mouth a little .....change subject now!!!!!
As we were all about to f**k off home, Fridgid came wandering out from the tree line with a DB flag, and legend has it that said pole was imbedded in a giant stone to wence only the weiniest of weiners could withdraw it, and thus proclaiming him to be king of all
weiners.
During the piss up and visitation segment, someone took it upon themselves to
steal SsangYongs keys, seems ya don't leave yer keys out for all the world to
see and steal.... mental note on that tucked away for future use. So nods to
SsangYong for being the all around putz of the night. (Well the German was
MIA so someone has to be the fall guy)
We finally managed to all get on home and were quickly ushered out of the
sight of the neighbors and crammed into the garage, where we were met with the
wonderful aroma of fish and chips. Thus once hash hush had been called, began
the fines ...........
Firkin ..........hare (No…he did not get fined for being the hare as it
is not GCH3 tradition…..Dagy)
Lab Rat ........talking
Navi ............see above
Sif .................belching
007 ..............for taking 20 minutes to change clothes
One Loos .....for using Firkins dog as a foot stool
Glowworm ...for losing $5
Brick ............for finding $5(no down down because of idiot above)
Ezee ...........bitched about a wet foot
SsangYong ..that key thing (and the phone thing….Dagy)
Fridgid ........for his pole (ick)
Supreme .....use of a GPS
Lusty ............?????
That's it from the cheap seats, Dagy will fill in any gaps, and hare's
desperately needed so get with Linc.
On a personal note, thoughts go out to the families suffering over in
Colorado after the senseless shootings ...........I hope the f**ker responsible
rots.
On&On..................and S*M*D