Garbage for 27th March
Rehash Crutch’s belter through a sunny Burwood
A runners tale by 007.....
Runners and walkers met at Crutch Itch’s place in Burwood expecting a run in
the forest. Bit of a loop around the housing estate first, just as a teaser,
while the walkers were sent off on a shortcut. the runners then looped back onto
Landfill Avenue, following chalk arrows that alternated between left and right
but rarely straight on, still eagerly anticipating a forest run. But after
approximately 20 minutes of straight path with the forest on the left it became
clear that Crutch Itch has other ideas. And so to the first piss stop ......
So far so good....
Off again – yes, still anticipating a jink left into the forest – but f*ck me
dead if the trail did not then proceed to do a 20km tour of North Canterbury. I
would like to tell you where we went, but easier to tell you where we
didn’t. We ran right around Parklands area, through reserves, over
wetlands, round the streets, back to the Wetlands walkway, past the hospital,
and finally to the second piss stop after a full hour of running still 1.5km
from home.
007 was first to arrive to see a very sheepish Crutch hopping around and
checking his watch, Nice But close behind and sporting the Hash tits, and then a
long long gap until Navigator, expunging expletives and fuming like a freshly
laid dogturd, unleashed his appreciation or lack thereof to the quaking hare.
Nav’s constructive critique ran along the lines of “That is five f**ing weeks on
the f**ing trot we have had c**t trail too long have you never set trail before
you c*** we should be back by f**ing eight o’clock, what do you mean no-one
f**ing told you, I am telling you now you f*** c*** tw*** f***.”
I think he was only joking though.
Meanwhile Mole had staggered in and looked ready to keel over and die,
followed by a few straggling walkers and Supreme who by now had no rubber left
on his tyres
While Crutch went off to play sheepdog and pick up the last of the lost the
pack wandered the last several miles back home for a midnight snack before
departing.
A shortcutters tale by Dagy
We wented out the gate following the runners until they wended their way out
of view and we found ourselves outside a pub into which we wented until the pack
wandered past in a desultory fashion and we followed them
home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fines
Semi Soft for belching loudly and smellily in my face!
Navi for showing upper thigh off to just Noze ( there is a difference between
Nice But and Just Noze Navi)
Crutch for a long trail
Crutch for too much flour
Kerry for impersonating Black Adder
Vassey for taking the pack off piste to view her new section????
The smokers……the who!!!!???????
POTW to Crutch
Nice But dobbed 007 for running too fast
Supreme dobbed Crutch for having arrows going every which way but loose.
(obviously bike set)
MILFT dobbed Crutch for living in a time warp with a 2008 calendar on the
wall
Vas dobbed Milft
Just Noze and 007 dobbed and the fines circle disintegrated into a babble of
noise and confusion
3rd April run is Dagy and Fingers birthday run from Lakewood drive. On
On 476 Sparks Rd
Notes for all :- Hares need to think about how they set trails and if they
need someone to run an eye over the proposed route, ask a committee member or
long serving hasher. Think about putting loops in, check backs, checks with
trail starting 100 m away but perhaps over the river. With a tricky trail
the shortcutters can then think about it and short cut rather than just
following the runners.
Other matters:- The Hash is not a Psych ward. Deal with your personal problems
away from Hash and let the Hash be a place of enjoyment and relaxation,
which is what it was designed for.
On On
Dagy